Challenge

I am over halfway finished with a 30 Day Hot Yoga challenge that I first started to gain my mental strength and focus back after changing careers. It has ended up being an unexpected healing from the inside out. 

In a 105 degree room, following 26 postures, I started peeling off old feelings, thoughts, and emotions while stretching and balancing my body. Each day, my heart is more grounded and my inner well of peace is filling up again. I've never felt comfortable in my body, but I am grateful for the new strength I am discovering (Standing Bow Pose, I'm loving you). It has been difficult since the Redding fire in July and the stress of evacuating my parents and nieces, but the past four months especially have been a tumultuous time with changing careers, figuring out if I was meant to stay in Monterey, and wondering about my place in the world as a 33 year old single woman. This winter was my season of dark soil--would anything ever bloom? 

I am looking forward to finishing this challenge, and continuing hot yoga while getting back into outrigger canoeing again. My back and neck injury I got in September doesn't give me pain any more (finally!). When you can't do the things that make you feel like you, it is destabilizing. But the time away from my favorite sport allowed me to focus on painting, composing, and writing. 

It is easier to look back and see the purpose of different seasons; in the moments of weakness and waiting, it is hard to be patient and peaceful. 

It seems like life is like an ocean tide....receive and release and be.